Dear Blake

Dear Blake,

One year ago you took us all by surprise when you entered this world 3 weeks early. Since then you've kept us very busy worrying about you every day. Not just in the ways we expected, because all parents worry about their kids in this ever-changing world we live in, but because we wanted to make sure you weren't hurting or uncomfortable from all the food allergies and skin issues you developed. Hearing you cry was and is the worst sound especially when it's related to pain.

I remember the day your Daddy and I went in for my 20 week checkup. When we found out that you were a boy, we were in shock. Almost all our friends had girls, and boys have a reputation for being out of control. When we were in the ultrasound room at the doctor, he must've been quite amused at the look of shock/terror/anxiety on our faces when he told us that he "saw boy parts", and that phrase will forever have a place in my memory. Now that a year has passed since we first met you, I can't imagine having anyone but you. You have been a perfect addition to our family even though we still don't know who you look like.

As you grow I'm glad that you are able to become independent and more of your own person, but I do love all the times when you look at me and smile, then come running over and crash into me and know that you have a safe place to land (even if it means you might leave a bruise on me). The most memorable thing from your first couple months was the first time you smiled at me and meant it. It gave me a connection to you that I'd been waiting for since we found out I was pregnant with you. When I saw that smile I finally felt like your mommy and not just a girl taking care of a crying/pooping/eating baby. It made everything worth it. I still look forward to seeing your smile constantly, even when you're getting into something you shouldn't. Your smile even brings happiness to complete strangers we run into on a daily basis.

You've brought us so much joy with all your accomplishments and we're looking forward to so many more. The big things this year were holding your head up, sitting up, rolling, crawling, pulling up, and just recently walking! It is so fun to watch your excitement as you accomplish new things, and we're so proud to be your parents.

I never thought I could make as many sacrifices as I have this past year. A mother's body totally belongs to her child while breastfeeding and it's amazing what we'll do for our kids. I got up in the middle of the night to either feed you or pump milk for you every night until you were about 10 months old. I truly hope you are better off because of everything we've done to try and make your life better.

I never thought I would be the type of mother who would quit her job to stay at home with her child, but I'm so incredibly glad I've been able to. At first it was overwhelming to spend almost all my waking (and sometimes sleeping) hours with you, but now I feel like a part of me is missing when you're not around. I'm looking forward to spending time with you over the next year and helping you become a respectable young man like your Daddy. I hope you never grow too old to give your mommy big hugs and little kisses. I love you to the moon and back. Happy 1st birthday sweetie!

Love, Mommy

This has been a big year of firsts, and this is the day that started it all.

The first time in Mommy's arms.

The first time on the scale.

The first diaper.

The first time holding Daddy's finger.

The first time all swaddled up tight.

We're looking forward to many more firsts as you grow up, sweet boy. Here's a look back at your first year.

Click here to view the slideshow.